I missed the annual ethics briefing my company graciously provided by a few days.
It's been over a year since my benevolent employers had taken it upon themselves to ensure that I knew right from wrong. I fear that without that guidance, forced to rely merely on the teachings of God, I might wander from the straight and narrow and achieve my 15 minutes of fame as a person who didn't follow the documented processes.
That in turn indicated to me that my situation was even more perilous than I had thought. I don't know what the documented ISO 9001 compliant processes for retirement are!
How will I be able to function without well documented and repeatable processes? Who will take my money when they know that I am not ISO 9001 certified?
If that were not bad enough I also lack a way to access a database of all of the governmental regulations--defined by faceless unelected and unaccountable bureaucrats-- that are designed to help me be a new American person.
Without that guidance--which was also presented to me when I received the companies cheerful but stern multimedia ethics briefing-- how can I avoid reverting to the American man of my youth? Could anything be worse than knowing one's gender, believing one is responsible for one's own support, or not hating oneself because of the pallor of one's skin?
Needless to say I feel though I am tottering on the edge of an abyss which leads to a grossly distorted view of man as an independent actor rather than a cog in the societal machine aimed at reelecting the Clintons.
I'd ask for prayers but that would clearly be a micro-aggression against those who wish to banish faith from the public square so I'll merely ask you to center yourself and then radiate good thoughts in my direction which is totally acceptable since it divinizes the individual so long as they are completely constrained by the PC societal norms.